Give And You Get So Much More In Return!

Photo by: M. Cronkhite

My, where has the time gone? So much going on, so much learning and growth. So much more to do!

The summer is winding down. Vacation was so relaxing. New ideas were born that gave life to a long held desire. Thankfully my wonderful coach is helping me to put the steps into place so I can realize this long cherished dream! What a gift he is to my life!!

After the trials of the spring - well not just last spring - but the past year of financial strain and drain - I feel I have my spouse back again. What I mean by that is he is not letting his worry dictate his day. He is being authentic to himself and those around him. After a few wonderful exercises, suggested by my coach, we have a frame work that we both understand. Wow, it is quite wonderful the difference that has made!! This allows me to carry on with my business giving it the excitement and energy that it deserves!

On Tuesday, I have a one day workshop with our local school board around a workshop program that I would like to facilitate for parents and those who have youth in their life. I am excited for the possibilities of what this program will do for families and for the future of my own business.

We - as in a handful of people in my community - started a Youth Society for our city. That is proving to be so amazing and rewarding! We are conducting a logo contest for the month of October through all of our middle and high schools. Being able to have a direct impact on youth programs, through our fundraising and community efforts, is quite an empowering feeling!

I would love to hear what others are doing that "fills" them up inside. What energizes you and inspires you? What tips would you like to share with this community? When you give you get so much more in return.

I would like to say a sincere thank you for being a part of my community!

With love,

Michele xo

Our Adaptability to Change...

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Social and technological changes are impacting our world at the fastest rate ever experienced by humans. What is this doing to our children?

"The world our kids are going to live in is changing four times faster than our schools" ~ Dr. Willard Daggett

This is what makes it vital for our society to rethink how we do the things we do - parenting, education, preparing our children for a future that we have no concept of what it will look like.

How our children will learn and function effectively within our society is largely based on how well they adapt to change.

Within that - the ability to adapt - they need to feel that they are capable and be confident in their ability to learn and succeed. - Personal efficacy.

They need to feel that their life has meaning and purpose.

We wonder why children - and they are - join gangs or clubs - it is a sense of belonging. That need is so vital - we cannot underestimate the impact that a sense of belonging has on a human being - any human being - not just a child.

Children will seek affirmation from dangerous places if they do not feel that in their lives in other ways.

Add into the equation a busy home life - parent(s) working hard and not home very much. Surviving to keep up without the connection and conversation with their kids that reinforces the perception that they are indeed needed in a positive way.

We need to connect with the young people in our lives. Not just when we are frustrated. We need to affirm that they are loved and cared for.

Safe boundaries are very important and are required in many different ways. It is no longer - be home when the sun goes down - or for me - when the street lights come on. It is knowing where they are and who they are with. What activities will they be up to? Computer time - limits - both in time and content.

Children have more access to information than their grandparents had in a lifetime - in ONE day!

How well we adapt to change has an impact on the young people in our lives. This world is changing and changing fast. Does it mean it is all bad? No. We cannot adapt a pessimistic view.

We cannot also forget our agreement...you know the one. The one we agreed to when these wonderful children came into our lives. Yes it challenges us! Yes it can make us crazy! But do not forget - we chose it - on some level we did. So get over it and embrace it.

Change will happen with or without us - we cannot afford to be left behind. Our kids are depending on us!

Building Resiliency - An Interactive Discussion

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This is a focus of my business and one that I feel so very strongly about. There are many keys to resiliency. Modeling them for the young people in our lives is a great way to reinforce the effectiveness. As we know, we will all experience the ups and downs of daily life. How we handle them and rebound is based on our belief in ourself and our ability to control the outcome. Are we a victim or can we choose to look at things a different way?

Lets look at a couple of ways to start:

Personal Efficacy

"Efficacy is the power to achieve a desired goal. Students with personal efficacy know that they as individuals control what is learned based on a belief in their abilities to apply effort and achieve a goal."

Creating positive attitudes and belief systems & using learned optimism to change negative thinking patterns

I like this one because it reminds us that even though we may not always practice it - you can retrain yourself to be optimistic. Nothing is hopeless unless you choose to see it that way.

"Optimism – reacting to setbacks from a presumption of personal power. Bad events are temporary setbacks, isolated to particular circumstances & can be overcome by my effort and abilities."

Putting them into play:

What resiliency principals do you practice? How have they helped you through a difficult situation? I would like to start this as an interactive discussion. We all benefit from each others experiences. So if you can share...that would be fantastic!!

This is just a start...so let's get the ball rolling!

Choice...do you have it or don't you?

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Choice. Top to bottom, start to finish...it is all about choice! We are on a journey of choice. Oh so exciting, the endless possibilities of it all...pick and choose, it is all right there. We have choice!

Or do we?

Yes, we can pick what we eat, what we wear, what we think...or do we?

How closely have we examined those choices? Do we think of our own basic needs; hunger, clothes to serve a function - warmth, keeping cool etc., and what about thought...well of course we control those...don't we???

What do we do that we are fully in choice about?

Is it too much to think about the collective impact of our choices? Have we become so far removed from each other that we cannot 'see' our connection?

Even though the global population has never been higher. The ways to communicate with each other, no matter the distance, has never been easier. Information is at our finger tips, literally. It is a world 'on demand' and ready to go.

Yes, we live in a world of convenience. Well...for those who can afford it.

We do not have to sew our own clothes anymore. There are lots of countries with many young workers willing to take care of our sewing, high fashion needs. We don't have to really cook any more. We can buy fully prepared food at our local grocery store and just warm it, nuke it...it is ready to be consumed. We can go to a fast food place - please do not make me wait more than two minutes for my 'food' - and get enough calories for a couple of days and take many, many more to digest or process the already over processed delight that we called dinner.

Thank goodness we are at choice!

We do not have to succumb to pressure on how to live, decorate, dress, eat, communicate...no we are human beings with the capacity to make informed decisions. Whew! We are at choice.

We know that we need rain forests, agriculture, a thriving eco-system, healthy oceans, clean air, water...oh yes, clean water, the animal kingdom and natural resources.

We know that we need to work with - not control, live in harmony - not discord with this planet that we call home. Yes, yes, thankfully we are humans beings with the capacity to see the big picture and our place within the synchronicty of it all.

For a minute I was getting worried. Silly me...I thought we forgot our connection with everything and anything, all and nothing. I thought we forgot that war was never the road to peace, control and domination for a few lead to the suppression of many more. Power over instead of power with creates the cycle that never ends...

I am relieved. We are creative beings in the process of creating the life that we see.

Thank goodness we are at choice to make that look however we wish!

Sound simple??

It is.

Love to my son...the big one!

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Yesterday, I felt so full of sunshine and love. Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel like you glow? Yes, yes, I washed...it wasn't that. This came from a deeper place. That knowing inside that we are all connected. We are on this journey with each other to experience life. Some days I just want to smile at everyone I meet and tell them I care!

It is about remembering who we really are.

We are love in its purest form. We have wisdom and knowledge. We have the tools to navigate what we draw into our life. No, it doesn't always feel that way when we are being challenged. Especially when it involves our family.

A friend of mine yesterday was telling me about a hospital visit she had to make to see a special young man who had defied the odds in his life so far. Here he was again, fighting for his life at 19 years old. My eldest son will be 19 this year. I started to think of him. Where was I inside with my feelings towards him - frustration, annoyance, love, more frustration?

Hmm...why did I forget that this is his journey? Why did I forget that the lessons he has to learn are for him...and not me? We are a very openly loving family, but when was the last time I had told him that I loved him? That is a big one for me. I say that frequently in our house, but when did I last tell him that?? Why did I forget that his life is just as precious?

Why hadn't I looked past frustration for a while to see the wonderful person that he is?

I wasn't so much mad at myself as I was disappointed. When did it become about me?

I made a decision that I was going to tell him how much I care more openly and freely. I was going to choose where to be with my feelings and separate them from him, as a person.

Today is about love. It is about holding my highest thoughts about who he is and remembering our agreement. That this is his journey. I will do my best to guide and provide what I should as his mother...love, a home, food.

He wondered why I was crying when I gave him that big hug...and then he thanked me. Wow, it had been a while!!

BE HAPPY!

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Sending love and sunshine to all out there!

Under Construction!

photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrismoncus/

This past while has certainly been about change in my life; for many reasons. Career, family you name it! Sometimes the changes go unnoticed; subtle...bit by bit. Other times it seems as though demolition is happening and get out of the way our you end up in the dumpster!

Either way it is always happening. We are paying attention or we are not. It is that simple.

When it is the in-your-face kind of change, well that seems to put us more into reactionary mode. It is hard to learn from that place. When it is subtle, it is easy to miss if you are not present to it.

So how do we find the middle ground; whether we are living in our bubble or slaying the next dragon?

Awareness.

It sounds so simple...and it is. But try it and see how successful you are at it. It is amazing how we can go through a day on 'auto pilot' mode.

Test yourself for one day and see how you do. How many decisions do you make consciously?

When you get an understanding of how unconscious you are, then you are at a level of conscious incompetence. We tend do go back and forth between a few different levels. Hopefully moving more towards conscious competence, then onto unconscious competence.

The goal at the end does not happen without the journey along the way!! It is through the learning that you become who you are and will be.

Do not try to skip any of it, just be aware of it! As your personal awareness increases you will notice when you are climbing up and down the steps of competence.

Either way, enjoy yourself...you might as well! We will live in bubbles and slay dragons...it is just going to happen. Maybe with your heightened awareness, you will get the cool boots that go with the Dragon Slayer costume...I mean really, a girl is always about the shoes!