Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Gentle Message

I recall my coach reminding to ask for gentle messages.

Hmm. That was sound advice given the way things have unfolded at times in my life. It would seem that although I should have wrote that down, posted it and tattooed it to my forehead, or something of that nature...I forgot.

Instead I got busy again. Busy with stuff. You know, this and that. My focus was not clear and direct. No. I was reading with the purpose of achieving my goal, and to my credit, sometimes I was getting there. But not that day. No.

My distractions were what set me on this journey in the first place. The last pieces of the puzzle, the rest of letting go. This may not make sense to anyone reading this, but to me it has been a lifetime in the making.

Distractions can be dangerous. And sometimes they are just what we need. Right now though, in this moment and the next, I need to be clear. Focused. Direct. As clear as my fuzzy head will allow me to be.

This is me, dear Universe, putting in my humble request.Out loud typed out for anyone to see. I seemed to have set myself up for yet another, not gentle message. A "hey you, slow down and pay attention" sort of message.

Yes, you have my attention now, the girl in the back row is fully engaged. Although the spasms in my head are testing that!

I hereby request the "gentle message" that my coach so masterfully suggested, and as we know, tossed aside by me! A test of my resilience was not what I was looking for. But, I guess when I wasn't clear and quite distracted, I must have appeared muddled and in need of a whack upside the head!


I will do my best to be more mindful and duck when retaining walls are overhead. It is abundantly clear to me that my skull was no match for solid construction. Which actually does surprise me, given our builder.

I will continue on my path, very grateful that it is wide and can accommodate when I have been distracted. If I had an amazing shoe collection to show for this, then it wouldn't be for naught, but sadly, that isn't the case.

I will continue to hold sacred all that is important to me without taking on the world. I say that knowing me and I am wondering how much I will be tested? This roaring bear has to settle down and realize it is winter.

Time to reflect and be quiet.

I will do my best to "see" what I was missing through my busyness. I am being forced to rest more but the irony is I cannot clear my mind so well in this condition.

I will focus on healing. Love. Self acceptance.

Hmm. Reading that now...that is exactly what I had set out to do those many distracted months ago.

Hmm. The pain in my heart, the hurt that was so deep and so overwhelming sometimes, I just couldn't see. It so wanted to be heard. Be loved. And be healed.

Thank you.

I guess you understood after all. The whack upside the head was a bit severe. But who knows what it could have been? I was at home and not in my vehicle.

I will use my time more mindfully - when it is coherent. I am really hoping all of the new science around the brain' s ability to heal and rewire, when there has been an outage, holds true. Right now it feels like power will be down for a while. I guess that is okay. Winter is approaching and it is time for this momma bear to settle in and take care of herself.

Time to watch and see.

Note: I will also, just to be clear, do my best NOT to fatten up before the big hibernation. I just don't think that would help at this time. Or any.

If there are any glaring omissions - which given my lack of cranial clarity seem bound to happen - a more gentle and less "requiring me to wear a helmet the rest of my days" approach would be much appreciated.

Sincerely yours,
The one in the back row, nursing a concussion and a tender heart,

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Preventative Careers

I find myself thinking about what the future for my kids might look like. We are faced with those questions as our 20yr old son tries to figure out his career choices.

What to pick? Where to go? What to do?

How difficult it must be given the state of affairs and turmoil our world is in right now. Does one choose to be a doctor with ideas of healing the world? Or does one wonder why we don't have doctors educate rather than medicate a population of over consumers? Is it even fair to think they should have to deal with larger social issues? Or have they tried and are too tired policing our bad habits?

Should he consider the police force, which has crossed his mind numerous times? Much to his mothers fright. I don't know why that scares me so, but it does.

How does one know where to dip ones toes in the water when the water has become a social hot topic? A commodity to be bought and sold, leveraged and traded. There are those who have free flowing access and those who are denied school just to walk to obtain it.

Where does this make sense?

What about a teaching career? His English teacher hoped he would choose that path. My spouses family is filled with educators. A noble career indeed. But can one help to reform a system, that so badly needs it, from the inside? Or should he look to work alongside with an outsiders perspective?

Ecology wise, we North Americans have gone green, well when we are not driving one of our many vehicles still stuck in our old bad habits. Kind of funny when so many other progressive countries in the world have been doing, more successfully, what we are trying to do, for much longer. None the less, green seems to be the way to go. Or has green just become a catch phrase of our current time? We need drastic reform in this area of our lives too.

Forestry conservation is one choice he is seriously considering. It is a very comprehensive career which could lead down many paths. I like this one. But that doesn't matter, I am his mother. The world he is a part of needs to think beyond what my generation could conceive.

So what skills do they need to be armed with to take on an abused, overused, I am right and you will just have to get used to it world?

Sharing. Acceptance. Listening. Respect.

Hmm. We raise our children to know these "rules" from when they are very small. Maybe they were born knowing this already. Did we lack integrity in our walk and talk? Did we too forget what deep inside us we already know?

Maybe instead of preventative careers, we need creative careers. And not just the kind that quickly comes to mind. Creative in the way of reinvention. Why prevent what we have messed up when you can reinvent a better way. Start it over again.

The job posting might look like this:


Creative individuals with the ability to think outside the box.
Forward thinkers who instinctively choose to try the path less taken.

Your skill set includes:

  • Being colour blind.
  • You listen well but know when to ignore the voices who tell you how it is and what is so.
  • Knowing our way is always, the way, although you are expected to ignore this too and do what needs getting done.
  • The ability to leave religion out of your job, but know that it can define ours.
  • Confidence. (Read BUCKET LOADS) This is vital! Love and believe in yourself as you are - although we try to undermine that in every way, shape and form in all that we "put out there" in the world

Start Date: Now

WARNING: The path less taken is slowly disappearing - you know, survival of the fittest!