Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I set out on this coaching journey knowing one thing - reach the kids. Small, medium, large...it doesn't matter their size. What matters is them. Each individual sole. So precious. Each with a gift for the world. As a parent we see our children at their best and at our wits end! It gets easy to confuse the two sometimes. As a teacher, they see potential. Realized or not quite yet, but potential none the less. They see what we parents do not always wish too...and sometimes not enough of what we 'know' is there. We all want the best for our kids. So how do we sort that out? Where do we begin?
Let us begin with the kids. This is their life...their journey. We are their guardians, educators, and taxi drivers. We feed and clothe..protect and aid...shuttle to sports and music...give them what we did not have. These are noble and worthy achievements but hopefully there is more. Not more in the goods and services the kids from this generation seem to require. No. More in the way of awareness. Awareness for themselves and control in their own life. Yes, control. As a parent that seems to be what we want more of - control. That way we can control the outcome that we most desire. I think we can trust that we have learned that skill already. How about letting our kids have a crack at it? I do not mean to let go of parental responsibility. That is our job and what we signed up for. What I do mean is this - having a different kind of conversation with your child about their day. The kind of conversation that asks questions about who they were being - serious, playful, silly, dreamer, focused...you get the idea. There is no right or wrong answer here. Only an answer. Children could be many of those moods in one day (as can we!). Find out about one. Ask how they enjoyed (or not) that way of being and why. Would they be that same way again in a similar situation? How could they be another way and what might the outcome be? Remember, no right or wrong. What you are doing is helping them realize that they are at choice. What they choose impacts the outcome that they see. Do not try to influence the choice (safety first, you are the parent!). Letting a child realize that they can control their own experience is a wonderful skill for them to practice. I have seen my kids take a frustrating situation and turn it around (for themselves) the next time by changing their own attitude - not by looking for someone else to change first. This is not something we can experience for them. What we can do, as the taxi driver on the way to the next important event, is get the conversation going. Be a curious taxi driver from another country who not only has great questions, but great ears for listening because it is all brand new. This is not our been there done that. This is their life, their day, their adventure. We owe it to them to be fully present. Isn't this the best gift we have to offer anyway?
Friday, February 20, 2009
I think at some point in our lives we have all experienced or been aware of the effects of positive intentions. Our thoughts are very powerful. It can be easy to forget that when we get caught up in the day to day of our lives - going through the motions rather than intending them. There is huge difference in what you experience between the two. More and more society is again waking up to fact that what we perceive greatly influences how a situation will impact us. With that in 'mind', how can we not 'see' that what we get in life is our own creation? It is easy to think that you have no control - that life is happening to you. Well, that is simply not the case! You are intending your life at every moment - whether at a conscious level or a subconscious level. When you bring that into your own awareness - what you percieve you will concieve - how does that affect your thought patterns?
You might be thinking, "That isn't true" - you intend to win the lottery everytime you buy a ticket! (I think we all do!) But how are you intending it? When most of us consciously create our thoughts (such as that lottery win), we do it with our old negative thought pattern as our base. "When I win - If I win - I never win but will try - Oh how would I spend that money" - all of this will not get you where you are looking to go. Carefully pay attention to what thoughts you are creating. Thoughts of the 'wanting' or 'if only' kind do create exactly what you intended - they leave you wanting if only! Stepping away from the lottery win, how are your thoughts creating the outcome in your day to day lives? Spend some time pondering this. You might surprise yourself with what you discover. Think of a situation that didn't turn out the way you would have liked and think - Who was I being? What were my thoughts? How did my thoughts affect my actions and what was the outcome?
When was the last time you considered your actions this way? We often ask another, or our kids, "What were you thinking?". It is easy to look at another and shake our heads. How closely have we examined ourselves this way? Remember to love yourself as you would your best friend. This is not an exercise in beating yourself up. That will create an outcome, but probably not the one that would best serve you or the others in your life. Science has proven for sometime that intention creates outcome. Close observation of your own life will confirm this as well. You always control your reaction to situations, that alone will affect your experience.
With this in 'mind', what will you create for your day? What will you intend? Your old thought processes run at a deep subconscious level in your body (not just your mind) - awareness is the key. Be kind to yourself as you work towards being a conscious creator. Which in turn might lead to a more understanding response when someone in your life makes a casual 'unconscious' remark with the best of intentions.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I received this in an email (below). Boy does it hit home! With so many people worrying in these turbulent times about just getting by....it makes you think about how you are going to do that. If we retreat to taking care of things the way we are used to - just doing what needs to get done, then are we really doing what we can? If we live in the limited perspective, "that is the only way", well that will be the only way. But what are the other perspectives? How can we take some very trying times and look at it differently? Can we really just expect our politicians, financial experts and corporate minds to fix what is broken without participating? We all have opinions and often have no problem making those heard in our own small circles....well, time to step up! It is time to look inside before we look outside for the answers.
"Money is not the issue. Having the courage to give your highest gift is the issue.There is no security in doing something for a living when you are dying inside while doing it. That is taking care of the body at the expense of the soul. And a withering soul cannot help but produce a withering body.So do not think you are "taking care of yourself" by killing your spirit to keep your body alive. How long will you put off what you are dying to do?" ~Neale Donald Walsch
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Are you in the drivers seat - or a passenger in your own life's events?
If you have ever had the privilege to watch a child play you will have noticed something that we loose as we become grown ups in a serious world - we loose our sense of curiosity! Children explore uninhibited. As an adult we find that scary and dangerous. Why? What are we afraid of??
What stops us from having the experience we wish to have? Think about it!! Where do you stop yourself? Where have you drawn the line in your life? Better yet, why? Can you answer that? Do you have a story attached to it? If you do, haven't you grown tired of it? How long will you hold on to limiting beliefs until you realize they are not serving you? It is time to let go people! Explore, be curious about your own life. It is your experience. Why not make it engaging and meaningful to you? Don't you owe yourself that much...stop hitting the snooze button...time to wake up and create a life of passion...be curious, it's your life!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
This has certainly made for a week of reflection. I am reminded to stay in the present moment and focus on the here and now. Somehow I find myself becoming melancholy. It's funny how life reminds you how precious each moment is...so you think I would appreciate what is right in front of me. Instead I find myself thinking back....somebody else's trials and tribulations bring a remembrance of struggles gone by. My circle of friends are feeling pain this past week, both physically and emotionally. My heart aches for them.
I am present with the joy that they bring to my life. That is where the richness of life comes in. Although there may by trying times right now, the people involved are not the struggle. That does not define who or what they are. They are gifts, each one of them. Illuminating, beautiful and strong. My wish is that these trying & challenging times will become a period of growth. A gift that they can pass on and share as seeds of knowledge for hope and happiness.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A very good friend of mine is making some very tough decisions today.
She is an incredible person with a tender heart that is a guiding light in her world. Unfortunately it probably feels as though that light doesn't always reach where she would like it to go most. That is the hard part. Watching your loved ones travel down a path where they are hurting; first themselves, then those who watch.
We may not always understand another persons journey. The lessons they need to learn and why. What we can do is remember our own. Be the love you wish to see. Be the courage that makes the hard choice. Be the light that reminds us of our true selves. When we cannot remember because it hurts, be still and just be. Our resources are all there inside, available to us, just waiting to be heard.
To my dear friend, just be you today. Know that your are a precious gift that keeps unravelling the beauty & love within.