Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Gentle Message

I recall my coach reminding to ask for gentle messages.

Hmm. That was sound advice given the way things have unfolded at times in my life. It would seem that although I should have wrote that down, posted it and tattooed it to my forehead, or something of that nature...I forgot.

Instead I got busy again. Busy with stuff. You know, this and that. My focus was not clear and direct. No. I was reading with the purpose of achieving my goal, and to my credit, sometimes I was getting there. But not that day. No.

My distractions were what set me on this journey in the first place. The last pieces of the puzzle, the rest of letting go. This may not make sense to anyone reading this, but to me it has been a lifetime in the making.

Distractions can be dangerous. And sometimes they are just what we need. Right now though, in this moment and the next, I need to be clear. Focused. Direct. As clear as my fuzzy head will allow me to be.

This is me, dear Universe, putting in my humble request.Out loud typed out for anyone to see. I seemed to have set myself up for yet another, not gentle message. A "hey you, slow down and pay attention" sort of message.

Yes, you have my attention now, the girl in the back row is fully engaged. Although the spasms in my head are testing that!

I hereby request the "gentle message" that my coach so masterfully suggested, and as we know, tossed aside by me! A test of my resilience was not what I was looking for. But, I guess when I wasn't clear and quite distracted, I must have appeared muddled and in need of a whack upside the head!


I will do my best to be more mindful and duck when retaining walls are overhead. It is abundantly clear to me that my skull was no match for solid construction. Which actually does surprise me, given our builder.

I will continue on my path, very grateful that it is wide and can accommodate when I have been distracted. If I had an amazing shoe collection to show for this, then it wouldn't be for naught, but sadly, that isn't the case.

I will continue to hold sacred all that is important to me without taking on the world. I say that knowing me and I am wondering how much I will be tested? This roaring bear has to settle down and realize it is winter.

Time to reflect and be quiet.

I will do my best to "see" what I was missing through my busyness. I am being forced to rest more but the irony is I cannot clear my mind so well in this condition.

I will focus on healing. Love. Self acceptance.

Hmm. Reading that now...that is exactly what I had set out to do those many distracted months ago.

Hmm. The pain in my heart, the hurt that was so deep and so overwhelming sometimes, I just couldn't see. It so wanted to be heard. Be loved. And be healed.

Thank you.

I guess you understood after all. The whack upside the head was a bit severe. But who knows what it could have been? I was at home and not in my vehicle.

I will use my time more mindfully - when it is coherent. I am really hoping all of the new science around the brain' s ability to heal and rewire, when there has been an outage, holds true. Right now it feels like power will be down for a while. I guess that is okay. Winter is approaching and it is time for this momma bear to settle in and take care of herself.

Time to watch and see.

Note: I will also, just to be clear, do my best NOT to fatten up before the big hibernation. I just don't think that would help at this time. Or any.

If there are any glaring omissions - which given my lack of cranial clarity seem bound to happen - a more gentle and less "requiring me to wear a helmet the rest of my days" approach would be much appreciated.

Sincerely yours,
The one in the back row, nursing a concussion and a tender heart,

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Preventative Careers

I find myself thinking about what the future for my kids might look like. We are faced with those questions as our 20yr old son tries to figure out his career choices.

What to pick? Where to go? What to do?

How difficult it must be given the state of affairs and turmoil our world is in right now. Does one choose to be a doctor with ideas of healing the world? Or does one wonder why we don't have doctors educate rather than medicate a population of over consumers? Is it even fair to think they should have to deal with larger social issues? Or have they tried and are too tired policing our bad habits?

Should he consider the police force, which has crossed his mind numerous times? Much to his mothers fright. I don't know why that scares me so, but it does.

How does one know where to dip ones toes in the water when the water has become a social hot topic? A commodity to be bought and sold, leveraged and traded. There are those who have free flowing access and those who are denied school just to walk to obtain it.

Where does this make sense?

What about a teaching career? His English teacher hoped he would choose that path. My spouses family is filled with educators. A noble career indeed. But can one help to reform a system, that so badly needs it, from the inside? Or should he look to work alongside with an outsiders perspective?

Ecology wise, we North Americans have gone green, well when we are not driving one of our many vehicles still stuck in our old bad habits. Kind of funny when so many other progressive countries in the world have been doing, more successfully, what we are trying to do, for much longer. None the less, green seems to be the way to go. Or has green just become a catch phrase of our current time? We need drastic reform in this area of our lives too.

Forestry conservation is one choice he is seriously considering. It is a very comprehensive career which could lead down many paths. I like this one. But that doesn't matter, I am his mother. The world he is a part of needs to think beyond what my generation could conceive.

So what skills do they need to be armed with to take on an abused, overused, I am right and you will just have to get used to it world?

Sharing. Acceptance. Listening. Respect.

Hmm. We raise our children to know these "rules" from when they are very small. Maybe they were born knowing this already. Did we lack integrity in our walk and talk? Did we too forget what deep inside us we already know?

Maybe instead of preventative careers, we need creative careers. And not just the kind that quickly comes to mind. Creative in the way of reinvention. Why prevent what we have messed up when you can reinvent a better way. Start it over again.

The job posting might look like this:


Creative individuals with the ability to think outside the box.
Forward thinkers who instinctively choose to try the path less taken.

Your skill set includes:

  • Being colour blind.
  • You listen well but know when to ignore the voices who tell you how it is and what is so.
  • Knowing our way is always, the way, although you are expected to ignore this too and do what needs getting done.
  • The ability to leave religion out of your job, but know that it can define ours.
  • Confidence. (Read BUCKET LOADS) This is vital! Love and believe in yourself as you are - although we try to undermine that in every way, shape and form in all that we "put out there" in the world

Start Date: Now

WARNING: The path less taken is slowly disappearing - you know, survival of the fittest!

Monday, May 31, 2010

That Special Someone

Every so often you meet someone that is 'extra' special. Someone who stands out, not for what they say, but more importantly who they are. I have had the pleasure of knowing one of those special people for seven years now. She owns the dance studio where my youngest has learned not only to dance but to be a confident and strong 10yr old girl.

This weekend we celebrated the 10th anniversary of her studio. Now to some that may not sound like much. If you knew Carla, you would know why this is such a big deal. How many people do you know who have followed their passion and made a successful business out of it well before they have hit 30? All the while being true to who they are.

To the many dancers who have passed through your doors, you continue to inspire them to reach inside themselves; to be strong, to love and respect themselves and their peers. To be more than they thought they could.

For this I thank you! Here is to 10 more years of continued success!

Love, Michele xo

I am a Dancer

I was born into this physical world
Free from judgement,
Free from limitations of the mind.

I was born into this physical world
As an expression of love;
Love for self and love for all.

This love radiates beyond my words
For words are too feeble to express
The awe and the wonder of all that is
And what can possibly be.

My love is expressed through movement,
The orchestral harmony of body & soul.

As a dancer I enter your heart
And greet you like a long lost friend.

I can make you laugh with me,
Make you cry and feel joy with me.
Make you feel alive!

I dance as an example
Of a life fully self expressed.
Ready to take risks,
Ready to give all that I have.
Only happy when I am depleted
For I have lost myself &
With the music become one.

Knowing that I will gain more
When I have given all that I can,
I dance to wake you up, to remind you
The beauty of the unspoken word.

The heart connection that binds us all.

Happy 10th Anniversary, Mellado Dance Elite

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Here's to possibility...the journey of a lifetime!

Possibility never leads me down a path that I cannot grow from. It does not limit what is available to me - only my own perceptions do that.

Possibility can be my dreams and my nightmares, but it depends from where I am looking. Again my perceptions can deceive me.

Possibility can bring me comfort when I have forgotten to be hopeful. It allows me the permission to forgive my self with the option of being gentle and kind.

Possibility allows me to open my heart and to see the light that shines in another, even when they may have forgotten themselves.

Possibility will let me surrender myself to the unlimited realization of all that is with the option of it being more than I could hope.

Possibility is the abundance of the universe..the joy..the love..when I remember to let go of sorrow.

Possibility is our unlimited destiny waiting for our arrival. Never judging, always hoping that one day we will remember from where we came. A place of hope and love without limitations.

A place we find in our heart.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Give And You Get So Much More In Return!

Photo by: M. Cronkhite

My, where has the time gone? So much going on, so much learning and growth. So much more to do!

The summer is winding down. Vacation was so relaxing. New ideas were born that gave life to a long held desire. Thankfully my wonderful coach is helping me to put the steps into place so I can realize this long cherished dream! What a gift he is to my life!!

After the trials of the spring - well not just last spring - but the past year of financial strain and drain - I feel I have my spouse back again. What I mean by that is he is not letting his worry dictate his day. He is being authentic to himself and those around him. After a few wonderful exercises, suggested by my coach, we have a frame work that we both understand. Wow, it is quite wonderful the difference that has made!! This allows me to carry on with my business giving it the excitement and energy that it deserves!

On Tuesday, I have a one day workshop with our local school board around a workshop program that I would like to facilitate for parents and those who have youth in their life. I am excited for the possibilities of what this program will do for families and for the future of my own business.

We - as in a handful of people in my community - started a Youth Society for our city. That is proving to be so amazing and rewarding! We are conducting a logo contest for the month of October through all of our middle and high schools. Being able to have a direct impact on youth programs, through our fundraising and community efforts, is quite an empowering feeling!

I would love to hear what others are doing that "fills" them up inside. What energizes you and inspires you? What tips would you like to share with this community? When you give you get so much more in return.

I would like to say a sincere thank you for being a part of my community!

With love,

Michele xo

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Our Adaptability to Change...

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Social and technological changes are impacting our world at the fastest rate ever experienced by humans. What is this doing to our children?

"The world our kids are going to live in is changing four times faster than our schools" ~ Dr. Willard Daggett

This is what makes it vital for our society to rethink how we do the things we do - parenting, education, preparing our children for a future that we have no concept of what it will look like.

How our children will learn and function effectively within our society is largely based on how well they adapt to change.

Within that - the ability to adapt - they need to feel that they are capable and be confident in their ability to learn and succeed. - Personal efficacy.

They need to feel that their life has meaning and purpose.

We wonder why children - and they are - join gangs or clubs - it is a sense of belonging. That need is so vital - we cannot underestimate the impact that a sense of belonging has on a human being - any human being - not just a child.

Children will seek affirmation from dangerous places if they do not feel that in their lives in other ways

Add into the equation a busy home life - parent(s) working hard and not home very much. Surviving to keep up without the connection and conversation with their kids that reinforces the perception that they are indeed needed in a positive way.

We need to connect with the young people in our lives. Not just when we are frustrated. We need to affirm that they are loved and cared for.

Safe boundaries are very important and are required in many different ways. It is no longer - be home when the sun goes down - or for me - when the street lights come on. It is knowing where they are and who they are with. What activities will they be up to? Computer time - limits - both in time and content.

Children have more access to information than their grandparents had in a lifetime - in ONE day!

How well we adapt to change has an impact on the young people in our lives. This world is changing and changing fast. Does it mean it is all bad? No. We cannot adapt a pessimistic view.

We cannot also forget our know the one. The one we agreed to when these wonderful children came into our lives. Yes it challenges us! Yes it can make us crazy! But do not forget - we chose it - on some level we did. So get over it and embrace it.

Change will happen with or without us - we cannot afford to be left behind. Our kids are depending on us!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Building Resiliency - An Interactive Discussion

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This is a focus of my business and one that I feel so very strongly about. There are many keys to resiliency. Modeling them for the young people in our lives is a great way to reinforce the effectiveness. As we know, we will all experience the ups and downs of daily life. How we handle them and rebound is based on our belief in ourself and our ability to control the outcome. Are we a victim or can we choose to look at things a different way?

Lets look at a couple of ways to start:

Personal Efficacy

"Efficacy is the power to achieve a desired goal. Students with personal efficacy know that they as individuals control what is learned based on a belief in their abilities to apply effort and achieve a goal."

Creating positive attitudes and belief systems & using learned optimism to change negative thinking patterns

I like this one because it reminds us that even though we may not always practice it - you can retrain yourself to be optimistic. Nothing is hopeless unless you choose to see it that way.

"Optimism – reacting to setbacks from a presumption of personal power. Bad events are temporary setbacks, isolated to particular circumstances & can be overcome by my effort and abilities."

Putting them into play:

What resiliency principals do you practice? How have they helped you through a difficult situation? I would like to start this as an interactive discussion. We all benefit from each others experiences. So if you can share...that would be fantastic!!

This is just a let's get the ball rolling!