Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Love to my son...the big one!

photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/orcaman/

Yesterday, I felt so full of sunshine and love. Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel like you glow? Yes, yes, I washed...it wasn't that. This came from a deeper place. That knowing inside that we are all connected. We are on this journey with each other to experience life. Some days I just want to smile at everyone I meet and tell them I care!

It is about remembering who we really are.

We are love in its purest form. We have wisdom and knowledge. We have the tools to navigate what we draw into our life. No, it doesn't always feel that way when we are being challenged. Especially when it involves our family.

A friend of mine yesterday was telling me about a hospital visit she had to make to see a special young man who had defied the odds in his life so far. Here he was again, fighting for his life at 19 years old. My eldest son will be 19 this year. I started to think of him. Where was I inside with my feelings towards him - frustration, annoyance, love, more frustration?

Hmm...why did I forget that this is his journey? Why did I forget that the lessons he has to learn are for him...and not me? We are a very openly loving family, but when was the last time I had told him that I loved him? That is a big one for me. I say that frequently in our house, but when did I last tell him that?? Why did I forget that his life is just as precious?

Why hadn't I looked past frustration for a while to see the wonderful person that he is?

I wasn't so much mad at myself as I was disappointed. When did it become about me?

I made a decision that I was going to tell him how much I care more openly and freely. I was going to choose where to be with my feelings and separate them from him, as a person.

Today is about love. It is about holding my highest thoughts about who he is and remembering our agreement. That this is his journey. I will do my best to guide and provide what I should as his mother...love, a home, food.

He wondered why I was crying when I gave him that big hug...and then he thanked me. Wow, it had been a while!!

Monday, May 25, 2009


photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dennisfwriter/

Sending love and sunshine to all out there!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Under Construction!

photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrismoncus/

This past while has certainly been about change in my life; for many reasons. Career, family you name it! Sometimes the changes go unnoticed; subtle...bit by bit. Other times it seems as though demolition is happening and get out of the way our you end up in the dumpster!

Either way it is always happening. We are paying attention or we are not. It is that simple.

When it is the in-your-face kind of change, well that seems to put us more into reactionary mode. It is hard to learn from that place. When it is subtle, it is easy to miss if you are not present to it.

So how do we find the middle ground; whether we are living in our bubble or slaying the next dragon?


It sounds so simple...and it is. But try it and see how successful you are at it. It is amazing how we can go through a day on 'auto pilot' mode.

Test yourself for one day and see how you do. How many decisions do you make consciously?

When you get an understanding of how unconscious you are, then you are at a level of conscious incompetence. We tend do go back and forth between a few different levels. Hopefully moving more towards conscious competence, then onto unconscious competence.

The goal at the end does not happen without the journey along the way!! It is through the learning that you become who you are and will be.

Do not try to skip any of it, just be aware of it! As your personal awareness increases you will notice when you are climbing up and down the steps of competence.

Either way, enjoy yourself...you might as well! We will live in bubbles and slay dragons...it is just going to happen. Maybe with your heightened awareness, you will get the cool boots that go with the Dragon Slayer costume...I mean really, a girl is always about the shoes!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Humble Thanks

Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/i_travel_east/

I have not posted for a while. That does not mean I haven't written many, on the contrary, probably more than usual. Once complete, I found I had 'processed' through something and then didn't think it would be of interest to anyone...so I didn't post them.

Then the guilt of not posting set in. Oh, I know that is a perspective that I chose to attach to it. I still chose it though! So much has transpired since my last post. Reading a beautiful post from somebody's soul this morning has given me the courage to get back on the horse.

I realized the therapy from writing, that not only happens for ourselves, can be a window for someone else. By giving our highest gift, our true self, that is by no means something to sluff off thinking, who would be interested anyway? I am sorry for taking that so lightly.

So for this post I say a heartfelt, Thank You! To all of you bloggers who put yourself out there, uncensored and in your full beauty. The world needs this connection...this meeting of the souls...our humanity and unity are so evident when borders, race and religion do not factor into the picture. We are one!